EORZEAN COURT IS IN SESSION

THE COURT OF LALALAW

CRYSTAL | MATEUS | EMPYREUM W27 P60
Tuesday Evenings or By Appointment

Have a Case?

Sue an enemy (or a friend), get married, get divorced, adopt a youth, and more!

Next Hearing (EST)

    *The Court of Lalalaw is not an actual court, and does not have any actual qualifications. None of what we say - probably ever - should be considered or utilized as legal advice.

    Courtroom Staff

    JUDGES

    ATTORNEYS AT SMALL

    BAILIFFS

    JUSTICE RANGER'S SENTAI SQUAD

    COURTROOM SKETCH ARTISTS

    CAREER CRIMINALS

    SNACK TIME PROVIDERS

    Apply for a role on our team via our Discord

    Appointments

    Next Hearing (EST)

      Looking to resolve your Eorzean court case? Reach out to us by filling out the form, and look out for a Discord message confirming your appointment!

      Previous Hearings

      Lalafells v. Lala Longshot 7.7.26
      GUILTY (Reckless Endangerment, Battery, Disorderly Wahnduct, Witness Intimidation)

      The State v. Crayon Devourer and Sora Star 6.30.26
      CRAYON - NOT GUILTY (Homicide of a Tankardtender, False Advertising)
      SORA - GUILTY (Reckless Endangerment)

      Sora Star v. The Ghido who is Over 10,000 Years Old 6.23.26
      NOT GUILTY (Attempted Kidnapping, Terroristic Threats, Conspiracy, Defamation)

      Special Event
      Town v. Levi Corduroy at Wild West Fest 2026

      The Court of Lalalaw v. Tronu Koha 6.16.26
      NOT GUILTY (Grand Theft, Grandma Endangerment)

      Melon Lalamelon v. Crayon Devourer 6.2.26
      GUILTY (Defamation)

      Kyloni Foerstner v. Therea Myrne 5.19.26
      NOT GUILTY (Grand Theft Cookie)

      Crayon Devourer v. Melon Lalamelon 4.21.26
      NOT GUILTY

      Ominni Ljuvik v. Shal Lot 4.17.26
      NOT GUILTY (Arson, Disorderly Conduct, Battery with a Deadly Wahpon, Assault)

      Justice Ranger's Sentai Squad Auditions 4.7.26
      Dishonorable Judge Chaos-Sloth (Winner) v. Melon Lalamelon
      Keramiya Kaikaku (Winner) v. T'maas Moonmirror
      Ubebe Ube v. Chef Tyggr Thanateros (Winner)
      Crayon Devourer v. Corinna Hect (Winner by Disqualification)

      The Holy See of Ishgard v. Lady Elara 3.31.26
      Pre-determined dramatization of a handcrafted story. Lady Elara found guilty by the Holy See.

      Sameera Scarlet v. Ellie Florence 3.17.26
      GUILTY (False Imprisonment, Criminal Negligence)

      Kaylie Snow v. Vas Loo-Dra 3.10.26
      NOT GUILTY (Kidnapping a Chocobo, Unaliving a Chocobo with Intent to Sell, Attempting to Sell Unverified Chocobo Meat, Resisting a S-WAH-t Officer)

      Starry Water v. The Court of Lalalaw 3.3.26
      GUILTY (30 Counts - Criminal Negligence Resulting in Great Bodily Injury)
      Sentence - 10 gil paid to Starry

      Lunar Studios v. Emeber Spirit-Sloth 2.24.26
      GUILTY (False Endorsement, False Advertising, Emotional Damage)
      NOT GUILTY (Trademark Infringement)

      The Adoption of Y'alyth Aliapoh
      Shin Morinou ADOPTED Aliapoh Successfully

      LSS v. Mister Boopsie 2.3.26
      GUILTY (Property Damage, Fraud, Summoning Satan)
      NOT GUILTY (Attempted Murder by way of Man-Eating Plant)

      Keramiya Kaikaku v. Dirty Dan 1.27.26NOT GUILTY (Kidnapping, Theft, Conspiracy to Commit War Crimes)

      The Court of Lalalaw v. Taykay Tayke Pt. II 1.27.26
      Case Ended in Mistrial due to Jury Tampering

      The Court of Lalalaw v. Taykay Tayke Pt. I 1.20.26
      Case Ended in Mistrial due to Plea of Insanity

      The People (Lalas) v. Flux 1.13.26
      GUILTY (Punting Lalas)
      NOT GUILTY (Trafficking Ghido)

      Previous Weddings

      Red Lionheart & Aubrianna Shields

      Winners of the Golden Couch Trophy

      Awarded to Winners of Game Nights like Trial by Combat and Lalalaw Day Off.